I LOVE MY LONG HAIR.
And that is an understatement. Not only do I love the way it looks, the elegance, the feminine allure, I also love hiding behind it. It is by far the biggest security blanket I use to protect and literally shield myself from my own negative self image.
I am my own worst critic, hater, judge, and enemy.
Insecurities will always plague me. When I used to look in the mirror, I hated what I saw. Everything was too big. GIGANTIC. ENORMOUS. HUGE.
I used my hair to cover up everything I didn't like. Placing it over my body made me feel good, feel safe.
It's just so comfortable having my long hair with me. So comfortable, that I have never been satisfied with a haircut, no matter how little they cut. My hair has been enabling me, it has been letting my negative body image win, to survive.
After a long discussion with my best friends last night, filled with excitement and anxiety, numerous googled pictures of "a-line haircuts", I think I'm ready for a change. Scared sh*tless but ready.
This is not just a haircut.
This will be the first step long stride towards shedding my insecurities. Learning to love myself, long hair or not.
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