Do you have any siblings?
If you asked me this question 1 year and 4 months ago, there would be a simple automatic answer.
Yes, I have an older brother.
But today, I was asked that very question, do you have any siblings? A jolt of anxiety hit and raced across my body as I processed it. About a thousand answers flashed in and out of my mind. I settled for “it’s a long story” as I completely redirected the conversation trying to shake the uneasy feeling that was still lingering.
The answer was vague enough that it didn’t become awkward (other than the long pause) but enough that I would not be pressed for any more answers. I sat there wondering, if I said the truth bluntly, what would their reaction be…
What if, instead I said, “I had a brother. He died in an accident a little over a year ago”.
Thinking back, I’ve actually never used it as an answer to that question. But I can imagine the awkward tension that would fill the air, the unwanted pity that would be thrown in my direction, and the fake empathy I would see them experience.
Maybe, Sometimes?
The average person never really notices how often they get asked this question. I know I’ve been asked a least 6 times since the accident. The last four I can recall vividly as if it just happened.
All of them in the same pattern: Question. Pause. Answer. Avoid.
“No” is my most frequent answer, it is simple and still the truth. Sometimes just lying and saying “yes” is the easiest way. Both of these answers can cause me even more trouble.
It’s a work in progress. I don’t think I’ll ever find the perfect answer, maybe it doesn’t even exist.
All I know is the truth is the hardest thing to admit.
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