Road Block: Resume Writing

I'm sitting at Panera rewriting my resume, realizing that I barely remember what I did the summer of '10 and '11. This is kinda, really, sorta, bad...

How do you write the perfect resume? How do you know exactly what your future employers are looking for? Honestly, you really can't know. 

My university offers a "Resume Workshop" about once a month and I'm not sure if I trust it, what if they have NO idea what they are doing? How can they really? Every company, employer, interviewer, is looking for something different, it all depends on the context of the situation and even that person's mood at that very moment. 

So when is doubt what should you do? Google it! 

Best advice I found online: 

You are selling yourself to your employer - give them a reason to want to buy you over everyone else!

Wording: 

• use action words - "coordinated" sounds much better than "did" or "set up"
• companies now have search engines that look for words in your resume - use the right ones! 
• add numbers to your accomplishments - instead of saying "helped process new employees" say that you "helped process 15 new employees" makes it more concrete (unless the number is very low)
• Avoid using pronouns - "I" and "Me" etc. they don't like it 
• use PAST tense when talking about the past. duh! 

Formatting: 

• Be short - try to get everything onto one page - but DON'T make it too word heavy 
• have the main parts - contact info, relevant work experience, education, skills, objective
• use bullets - they don't want to read paragraphs 
• use effective titles, don't be boring 

Other Helpful Tips:

• make your resume stand out - people look at your resumes for ably 5-20 seconds or if your lucky a few minutes
• formats matter - don't copy one straight offline (everyone is) pick a few you like and take aspects of each 
• make sure it looks professional or whatever vibe you are trying to convey 
• create a generic resume and tailor it according to each job posting 
• DO NOT LIE 

All in all this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Hopefully this kick-ass resume will get me a few interviews. Which leads me to another road block, interview questions...

Turn Left on Boy Street: Shower Time

The shower.

It is a place for relaxation, deep thinking, belting out your favorite song and geting squeaky clean. 

That is, until you throw in a member of the opposite sex. 

I have had the opportunity to experience a few co-ed showers, my partner always seemed to want to get a little frisky. After a bit of "research", which mostly consisted of intense girl talk, I learned I was not alone. Girls and guys everywhere were making their showers a little steamier. 

And hey, what girl doesn't like to get a little attention form her man? I know I love it!

Except for shower. It's not for me.

More power to you, if you and your man are getting a little dirty before you get clean. There are a lot of perks to getting dirty in the shower! I mean you're already naked and in close proximity, that's half the battle.

For me, the shower is a hazard. A small, enclosed, slippery space is not a good environment for me to be getting frisky. With my luck I will fall, trip, slip, or break something which will probably lead me to break something of his.

The hot water hitting my body is more than enough pleasure, sorry babe, but your services are not needed here. Trust me, this is for your own good! Plus, it is safe to say in this threesome, the shower would win and you'd be the one feeling shut out. I appreciate the ego boost though!

Luckily, I'm single, so there is no love triangle between me, the shower, and a gorgeous man. I get to enjoy the hot water by myself as I give the shampoo bottles a mini concert in the nude!

Morning Commute: Internship Finale - Lessons Learned

# 2 and #8 never really happened - everything else seems like common sense!  

My internship is OVER! I spend 12 long weeks working full time at a small federal government agency this summer. It is my third and last summer working here and it is safe to say, I have learned a LOT.

Things I have learned: 

1. The federal government and old people are slow. VERY slow. Enough said.

2. Every office has it's own culture. Learn it. Love it. Embrace it.

• What I mean by that is, every organization and divisions within that organization have certain ways of doing things. 
• Some collaborate together, others work by themselves on everything. Some divisions are more casual when they interact, others are very formal and never break their "professional" facade.   
• So learn the way your people in your division work and be adaptable to it! 

3. Know who to be friends with - Network

• Your direct supervisor is not the only person you should get to like you! 
• Support people - very important to you, they can get you what you need and if you know them personally, they can get it to you faster. This includes IT people, secretaries/administrative people, custodial staff, mail room people, etc. 
• higher ups - many people won't get the opportunity, but I was fortunate enough to be able to meet many. I was even more fortunate to be able to be noticed by and get close to one of them. These connections will not only provide you with awesome recommendations but connections. 
• How to: Talk to people, get to know them! People love talking about their kids and grandchildren. You may not have any but ask about theirs', show that you care. Ask what they are doing or inquire about their weekend, people love talking about themselves in general.
• Just be genuine and nice to everyone! You never know who can help you out in the office.  

4. Work. Work Work.

• Do things fast and efficiently! Do it WELL! 
• Be adaptable - do any task assigned to you even if it's not in your job descriptions. As an intern you have to pay your dues.. I know in my first internship I made coffee, in my second shredded 30 bags of paper, and in my third indexed over a thousand files. 
• Show initiative - even if you have down time ask around and see if anyone has work or something to take off their hands. It will get you noticed! 
• Be positive - no matter how much you hate your boss or what you are doing - do NOT show it in the office. A positive attitude will take you far, keep you positive and even get you noticed. 
• Look busy, even if you arn't - always try and seem like you are doing something. As an intern you will find a LOT of down time, try and act like you are typing something on the computer or look focused on the screen.
• Set an everyday goal - have an objective to finish a certain amount of work everyday. Keep it high enough that it is an achievement but low enough that you can actually accomplish it.  

5. Dress to Impress.

•  I received a good piece of advice while at a career training during my internship: 
• "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."
• A nice nice clean cut wardrobe goes a long way. You may not think it but if there is one thing I have learned in my major (Communication Studies) it is that you are always communicating.
• Look clean and sharp. By dressing for the job you want, you are communicated/giving off the impression that you are serious, you want to go places. 

Accomplishments:

• I have also received a few awards. My second summer I was awarded with two "On the Spot" awards cash cards for my hard work with the HR department. 
• This summer, I could smell the award coming my way. But I never thought I would receive an award so large! I received a "Manager's Level Award" which came with a beautiful certificate and monetary award $$$. 
• The biggest thing I have taken from this internship is confidence in myself as a career woman. People were always complimenting me and telling me what a great job I was doing and how much they appreciated my help!

I now know that as long as I work hard at what I do, I can make something of myself and go far.

Green Light: Sh*t My Dad Says II

Another couple example of the funny stuff my Dad says intentionally and unintentionally that makes me giggly and insulted...

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My parent's church friends visited the day before:

• Dad: The couple yesterday said that you were very lovely 

• Me: Awe, that was nice of them!

• Dad: Yeah...but they have to say that as a formality. You know, just to be nice!

• Me: .... *glare* 

• Dad: hahahaha you should appreciate having me as a Dad

My Dad on "Titanium" - David Guetta ft. Sia - as the beat hits

• Dad: What kind of music is this?

• Me: huh?

• Dad: Is the stereo breaking? 

• Me: it's house music Dad

• Dad: I still don't get it 

Love Road Block: Take Care

Sorry in advance for the crappy video, VEVO won't let me embed the original MV to blogger.

I love this song, the lyrics especially tell the story of the vicious cycle of love. 

Vicious Cycle.

Love can cause a vicious cycle of pain.

One b*tch scorned by a past love hurts a nice guy, that nice guy becomes a player, who uses and hurts numerous other innocent girls, who will go out and cause even more nice guys pain.

The cycle will never end, unless love ceases to exist.

Understand. There's always a reason.

So, before you go and blame the "player" who left you after a one night stand or the "slut" who slept with your best friend, for your pain, be a little more understanding. There is always a reason for people's actions.

That "player" could have had his heart crushed by his first love, closing off his heart to women and just using them for sex saying love doesn't exist.

That "slut" could have a Father who left her when she was little, leaving her with permanent trust issues and insecurities, thinking a man will only love her if she sleeps with him.

There is always a reason behind why someone is, way they are.

Judgement.

Don't get me wrong, all of these reasons are understandable but most are not excusable. I'm just saying you should not judge someone or think they are a bad person because of what they have done.

Yes, they should not have done it, but there is usually a legitimate reason.

We all do things because of love. Things that we said we would never do. Things that we never even thought we were capable of.

One example is cheating. Everyone says it is something they would never do, but so many have done it, do it, or will.

I know I did something that I never thought I would do. Although I didn't cheat, I left my ex-boyfriend for someone else. My ex was perfect on paper, everything a girl could ask for, but I left him for someone else, someone who I knew was unhealthy, someone who I knew would never last.

Baggage and Insecurity. 

This vicious cycle also creates baggage, which breeds insecurity that people bring into their new relationships or prevent the relationship from happening.

This is why things like "rebounds" happen. Why girls seem "crazy" to guys. Jealousy and paranoia overtake the relationship. Someone pushes the other away. A wall is built up around your heart.


All of these things just makes it harder for the next person. Hinder the new relationship from suceeding.

"change the pace and we'll just go slow" 

Who knows where the vicious cycle started, we could try to track it back or we could try and take more responsibility.

We can be stronger and more secure. We can be more mindful of our actions. We can stop judging other people by being more understanding. We can do so many things to stop hurting the people we love.

We can slowly lessen the viciousness of the cycle. Pain is inevitable sometimes but we can lessen the blow.

Love is a very powerful thing. It can make us stronger, weaker, and stupid.

So, let's do our best to take care of the people we love.

Intersection: My Lovely Lady Lumps

Everyday, I support a BIG rack, 36 D if you were wondering. My cleavage has been a BIG part of my life since their titanic appearance my sophomore year of high school.

I often get the question, "where did they come from?!"

My answer: I have NO idea.

As an Asian girl, who are stereotypically flat chested, my lovely lady lumps are an enigma. Most people say I am very blessed to be so "well endowed" but I beg to differ. This is one of those "grass is greener on the other side" things for me.

Dressing them.

This has always been my biggest complaint about my lady lumps. Clothes are not made for women with a chest my size, they are normally tailored to fit women with a B or C cup size.

While shopping at probably every college girl's go to store, Forever 21, I usually grab a shirt I like in two sizes a Medium and a Large.

In my usually fashion, I slowly get attached to an edgy shirt or two as I walk into the dressing room. Throwing off my old shirt, I put on the Medium first, it fits perfectly in the waist but my boobs are popping out for all eyes to see. Feeling frustrated, I try on the Large which fits perfectly on my chest but makes me look like a huge box overall.

My lady lumps make clothes fit and look differently than they were meant to.

Imagine trying on 10 shirts that look amazing on the hanger but walking out of the dressing room with nothing. Not because the color wasn't right or you can't afford it or you already have ten things like it, but because your chest expands the fabric in a way that makes the shirt look completely unflattering.

I know every body type has it's own difficulty when it comes to getting dressed, mine just seems...bigger.

Attention. 

Okay, having a nice rack has it's perks!

Attention from some attractive guys is definitely one of them. I have never really understood the appeal of breasts but if I can use them to my advantage, why not?! Whether to get things or get out of things, I'll roll with it.

But there is a fine line between attention I want and enjoy vs. just plain creepy. I have had guys blatantly stare at my chest, hug me for a little longer than is socially acceptable, and try to catch a quick glance while they think I'm not looking. I can see you buddy!

The worst is when they are old enough to be my Father. That is just plain gross. How would you feel if someone your age was ogling YOUR daughter?

It is also something that you do not like to be known for. When you are around a group of friends, there is never a day when they are not mentioned. It can very old, no matter how positive the comment.

Other.

Having large lady lumps also means, more surface area to be sore.  And not just more surface area but more distance to cover when bouncing, increasing my pain. These things are can not be easily restrained!

As a professional klutz, who has a love-hate relationship with gravity, my lady lumps add another two appendages I have to make sure do not knock into something.

And they love to get in my way.

Okay, okay, I shouldn't complain. Millions of women have and millions more will pay thousands of dollars to implant what I was born with.

I just have to learn to love and work with what I have been given. But like I said, the grass is greener on the other side. You'll always want what you can't have!

Morning Commute: Co-workers

Classy work outfit

As you work with someone, a bond is formed, it can spring up from a mutual hatred of a boss, mutual understanding of an intensive workload, or just having neighboring cubicles.

Interning at a small government agency has exposed me to an array of co-workers ranging from the hilarious, to the intellectual, to the complainers, to the plain weird.  

Although I feel like I have been blessed with this amazing cast of characters, I could never see my self being friends with any of them outside of the work world. 

I equate my co-workers to a plain flat that "will do" but nothing compared to my real friends, sky high stiletto pumps that will triple my confidence. 

Okay, slightly harsh, but I consider the relationship with my co-workers a convenience friendship. If you stripped away my work bubble, I am left with a bunch of people I have nothing in common with anymore. 

Most of my co-workers have kids, even MORE have grandchildren, who I love hearing about but not as the only topic of conversation we have. 

This is probably wishful thinking but I hope my new "big girl job" is filled with eye-candy and very chill girls. 

Daniel Henney

Work Spouse.

Definition: is a co-worker, usually of the opposite sex, having bonds similar to those of a marriage; such as confidences, loyalties, shared experiences, and a degree of honesty or openness. The work spouse is a potentially key relation ship when one's actually significant other is not able to be there. 

According to this definition, I am possibly the "work wife" of 2-3 of my male co-workers, even though I do not consider any them my "work husband". They often visit my cube whenever they are in need of a break or just passing by, looking for a quick chat or in depth conversation.

This relationship is in no way sexual or inappropriate, it's a break from the mundane tasks we have set out for us daily. A quick kick back to the more exciting side of life! It's also easier for the work spouse to understand complaints and happenings within the work bubble because of their first hand experience. 

I know one of my co-workers, B comes to me to complain or take some of the burden off his shoulders. I think it's actually really healthy for him to unload his frustrations to me at work, rather than bring all of the negativity home to his family. And if we can share a laugh or two along the way, why not?

I haven't found my perfect work husband yet, but I hope he looks like Daniel Henney up there!

For more info on work spouses, check out the wiki article here. 

Green Light: Essie Nail Polish

Essie nail polish has to be one of my most favorite beauty products EVER! 

It's a bit pricey at $8 a bottle but totally worth it. 

You can achieve at least 40-50 perfect salon quality manicures with just ONE bottle of Essie. With the perfect coating, they can last up to two weeks without chipping, which is critical to a chip prone, nail abuser like me.

The thin and milky consistency of the polish makes it feel like I'm adding another layer to my nail rather than a thick coat of paint. The Essie brush is the perfect shape and size to create a seamless French manicure or coat your nail with great accuracy. The bottle is very cute and simple, it is what first drew me to Essie. 

Not only is the quality of Essie top-notch but their variety of color choices are all elegant and classy. The color variety makes a statements while still being appropriate for work and appropriate for all ages. 

I would suggest Essie to anyone who has an extra buck to invest in at least one bottle. You can immediately tell the quality difference between it and it's cheaper competitors! 

Intersection: My Cousin's Fiance (REWRITE)

I rewrote yesterday’s blog post because it was not the quality I wanted it to be because I half-assed it last night, so here it is new and improved!

Walking into my cousin’s house, I had very little expectations when it came to her fiancé. All I knew about him was that he is Korean, graduated from the same college she graduated from, and what he looked like from a little “detective work” on facebook.

With these little clues, I painted a picture of him in my mind before the meeting. My mental image consisted of a very quiet and reserved personality, who is not the biggest social butterfly, which students from their college are notorious for.  

My dreams had also given me a completely different mental picture, a picture of MY perfect man. In my dream, my cousin’s fiancé was a tall, dark, and GORGEOUS Asian man. He understood my weird sense of humor and had an irresistible charm. To top it all off, he was an incredible dancer. I crossed my fingers hoping he wouldn’t turn out to be anything like this mental image or I’d have to home wreck an engagement.

Ringing the doorbell my Mom enters the house first. I head down the hallway and I see him, I extend my hand and introduce myself. His name is Henry, thankfully nothing like my dream. As the night drags on, I find out he is exactly what I expected. He is a good looking, short, small Korean boy, typical. But when I say small I mean small, he stands at probably 5’6” or 7”, my build would beat his size any day.

He is quiet and reserved just as I predicted, but very nice, I think he’ll be the type of guy who will treat my cousin the way she deserves to be treated.  

My Dad’s side of the family is notorious for being almost genius level smart (what happened to me?), so much so it hinders their social ability to a certain extent. The night was filled with many awkward pauses, questions, and statements whenever the adults were involved.

I am excited to have someone else,who is slightly more normal, join the family, even though his excitement probably does not even come close to matching mine!

Even though I’m writing about it, it is ridiculously hard to believe, surreal even, to think that my cousin will be MARRIED. I don’t think I will be able to grasp that concept for a long time. Hopefully the wedding, which I’m really excited for, will help it sink in….

Side Note: I found out they will be providing an open bar at their wedding, not just wine as I was previously informed, I think my excitement level just went through the roof.

Road Block: Cutting Off My Security Blanket

 

I LOVE MY LONG HAIR. 

And that is an understatement. Not only do I love the way it looks, the elegance, the feminine allure, I also love hiding behind it. It is by far the biggest security blanket I use to protect and literally shield myself from my own negative self image. 

I am my own worst critic, hater, judge, and enemy.

Insecurities will always plague me. When I used to look in the mirror, I hated what I saw. Everything was too big. GIGANTIC. ENORMOUS. HUGE. 

I used my hair to cover up everything I didn't like. Placing it over my body made me feel good, feel safe. 

It's just so comfortable having my long hair with me. So comfortable, that I have never been satisfied with a haircut, no matter how little they cut. My hair has been enabling me, it has been letting my negative body image win, to survive.  

After a long discussion with my best friends last night, filled with excitement and anxiety, numerous googled pictures of "a-line haircuts", I think I'm ready for a change. Scared sh*tless but ready. 

This is not just a haircut. 

This will be the first step long stride towards shedding my insecurities. Learning to love myself, long hair or not. 

Flat Tire: The Worst Question

Do you have any siblings?

If you asked me this question 1 year and 4 months ago, there would be a simple automatic answer.

Yes, I have an older brother.

But today, I was asked that very question, do you have any siblings? A jolt of anxiety hit and raced across my body as I processed it. About a thousand answers flashed in and out of my mind. I settled for “it’s a long story” as I completely redirected the conversation trying to shake the uneasy feeling that was still lingering.

The answer was vague enough that it didn’t become awkward (other than the long pause) but enough that I would not be pressed for any more answers. I sat there wondering, if I said the truth bluntly, what would their reaction be…

What if, instead I said, “I had a brother. He died in an accident a little over a year ago”.

Thinking back, I’ve actually never used it as an answer to that question. But I can imagine the awkward tension that would fill the air, the unwanted pity that would be thrown in my direction, and the fake empathy I would see them experience.

Maybe, Sometimes?

The average person never really notices how often they get asked this question. I know I’ve been asked a least 6 times since the accident. The last four I can recall vividly as if it just happened.

All of them in the same pattern: Question. Pause. Answer. Avoid.  

“No” is my most frequent answer, it is simple and still the truth. Sometimes just lying and saying “yes” is the easiest way. Both of these answers can cause me even more trouble.

It’s a work in progress. I don’t think I’ll ever find the perfect answer, maybe it doesn’t even exist.

All I know is the truth is the hardest thing to admit.  

Green Light: Sh*t My Dad Says

Typical conversation with my Daddy

My Dad has to be one of the SILLIEST people I know. 

You can't see it in the screenshot but he sent me a happy smiley first! That morning we went back and forth sending random emoticons.

I give into his little game and sent him a Devil face, thinking "oh he'll just send me another random one".

Nope! He pokes fun at me asking, "is that you?"

BUT adding insult to injuring, he laughs AT HIS OWN JOKE. Not with a simple haha, but he sends an animated bear to laugh and clap at his joke for him!   

I pictured him in his office holding his stomach, chuckling at his phone.

Thanks Dad for the boost to my self esteem, I appreciate it!

Checking the Map: Olympic Sized Dreams

By David Fischer

The best in the WORLD, not many can say that they truly earned the title.

Tuesday, the US women’s gymnastics team earned the right by taking Olympic gold in the all-around team final. As I watched these girls, who are all in their teens, I could not help but feel unaccomplished in comparison. The girls all worked their butts off, day in and day out, to make their dream a reality.

What have I done? Nothing that millions of other people have not already accomplished.

Goals and Dreams.

My friends and I have unrealistic lofty goals when it comes to what we want to be “when we grow up”.

At the moment I would love to be the owner of a successful communications consulting firm or be a high profile attorney. In my circle of best friends:

                        - D wants to be a physician’s assistant.
                        - S wants to be biomedical engineer.
                        - L wants to be a psychologist and own her own private practice.
                        - P wants to be an NGO for the United Nations

All of these career fields are ridiculously competitive and require a lot of hard work. All of us will need to make huge sacrifices in order to just BE what we want to be, let alone considered successful.

But at the rate we are going, I don’t think any of us will ever see the idealistic life we picture for ourselves right now. This is especially true for me. Like most people I have talked to, I am completely lacking in motivation. I have not touched an LSAT booked, I don’t even have a legible resume, all I have been doing is bumming around wasting valuable time.

It makes me think: if this is REALLY what we wanted to do, why don’t we work harder for it? Shouldn't I be doing everything I can, to get to where I want to be?

Motivation. Motivation. Motivation. 

The only time I truly feel motivated to do work is when I feel guilty or scared.

Both of these “motivators” are just short bursts of anxiety that tell me, I need to get off my ass. They never last long, a week at the most and even that is a stretch!

Gabby Douglas is a raising star on the US women’s gymnastics team. She had been doing gymnastics since she was little, it was her passion. She never really dreamed of going to the Olympics until she watched Shawn Johnson in the 2008 Beijing Olympics, dominate.

Safe to say, she was truly inspired. At the age of 12, she picked up her bags and moved from Virginia Beach to Iowa to train under Shawn Johnson’s world renowned coach.

Gabby went by HERSELF. At 12 she knew she wanted to be an Olympic gymnast, nothing was going to get in her way.

And nothing did...

Gabby was not motivated by fear or by guilt. She saw someone great accomplish something very few people have. She was awestruck, she was INSPRIED.

I truly believe that inspiration with a sprinkle of passion is one of the biggest motivators out there. Something or someone out there sparks a fire into you that cannot be put out, that will just grow stronger until you accomplish what you set out to do.

One Day.

Unfortunately I haven’t had a strike of inspiration, I’m still looking.

So wanting to be a lawyer or own a consulting firm, or even just wanting to be “successful” may only be what society is influencing me to want. It may just be a nice thought, a passing vision of what I want my life to be, not truly my goal. Because if it was exactly what I wanted, I would stop at nothing to achieve it.

But no matter what, I know what I am capable of and how far I can go. I refuse to ever feel disappointed in myself.

So you may not remember me now, but one day you’ll know my name.

Reverse: Back to the Beginning

This is the first and only entry from a blog I created the summer before freshman year!
Totally forgot I even wrote it. Man, the embarrassing things you say when you're 17.

"Do NOT and they mean it, DO NOT room with you best friend"
Yeah, we did it. L and I were roommates freshman year on the 5th floor Eagle Hall. This "dorm", I use that term loosely, was old and crusty. Luckily we decorated our walls with yummy GQ men and an obscenely large poster of David Beckham shirtless. Drool worthy.

All in all, I am very happy we roomed together. We only ran into a....minor set back but other than that, I had a BLAST my freshman year, especially with D living right downstairs!

Two infamously horrible events will be forever ingrained into my memories. Fire Alarms. Purple flip-slop falls.

"Ditch the high school sweetheart because even though you believe it will last forever, it won't."
I didn't have a high school sweetheart, but my friends did.

D & Ivan: broken up - I think we all saw this coming
L & Bhansali: trying to be JUST friends - saw this coming after that year
P and Susu: together - unsure about these two freshman year
     
"Dating. Boys. I don't really have a PhD. in the field."
Obviously, I was boy CRAZY or borderline obsessed! I was 17 give me a break!

But back then, I probably had a pre-school education about what boys wanted and what I wanted from boys. I'm talking about, just learning the ABC's and 123's of the dating world.

That year for me and boys was a ginormous FLOP. I was happy with the attention I was getting at the time but I put more importance on quantity over quality. I feel like I was trying WAY too hard, acting like someone I wasn't, that or I reeked of desperation stupidity freshman meat immaturity. But little did I know, the next summer I would meet my ex-boyfriend.

Boys have taught me a lot about dating, life, growing up, and most importantly, myself. Now I can say I kinda, sorta, maybe? have a nice grasp on the opposite sex. No more Google-ing "college dating tips" for me! I'm at a HIGH SCHOOL level and proud.